Very Wrong Ways to Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

(Thanks to: Andrew McDonnell)

• While doing a somersault over Mary Lou Retton's bared midsection.
• While playing the role of Southern General Stonewall Jackson in a Civil War re-enactment, when you know you should really be loading your musket.
• Cutting a hole in your stomach and just shoving it in there.
• Wrapped in raw calf liver.
• Dipping it intermittently in a bowl of your own saliva so that half the work's done by the time it's in your mouth.
• Naked, on one leg, with Samuel Barber's Adagio playing in the background, while standing on the 50-yard line of the RCA Hoosier Dome as the centerpiece of a halftime show during a Colts-Jets preseason football game.
• Out of Bill Gates's navel.
• During your Weight Watchers nutritional adviser job interview.
• Chewing it up, spitting it into the mouths of baby birds, and then quickly popping the birds into your mouth.

hahahahahahaha. I thought this was side-splittingly hilarious. I am about to use it in my Writing Fellows interview at 9:40, and am blogging away nerves at the moment. (I am SO over it!)

Last night I had an absolutely gorgeous time! I have been wanting to go clothes shopping for many moons, and, as I was picking up my parents from the airport at 10, had a car for the evening. Pat and I decided to go (more like, I decided, and he, bless his heart, came with). We shopped, I found nothing, and then we sat down to eat something (dangerous...)--moments became tens of moments and soon, I was late. There was no time to take Pat home before picking up my parents. I did not plan this. (But if I had, I would be truly genius). So, Pat and I had a really great ride to Salt Lake Airport, where he met my parents and was TOTAL WUNDERSCHOEN! They totally hit it off. My mom thinks he is a bundle of personality plus! :) Fresh, honest, and delightful. Positive, forthright, energetic, etc. Okay. Moving on. regretfully...

So I should probably leave for my Writing Fellows interview. Ahhh! Not scared. So not nervous.