?

all of my life, I've imagined bad things in an effort to keep them from happening. for example, if I imagine that my mother will get in a car accident on her way to pick me up, then that is obvious insurance against that actually happening. once I think something, it won't happen. Transcribing real possibilities into the imaginative realm is my greatest emotional defense against uncertainty and fear. but I have this heavy feeling that one day, I will imagine something and it will happen, and I won't be able to comprehend the reality of it. what to do then? how to live in the ugly clash of worst fears and grittiest tangiblity?