Things that Consume our Time...

The old adage "actions speak louder than words" has really proven veridical in my short existence in the physical world. The things we find ourselves doing must be the things we like to do. You may think this is only applicable to lazy bums who don't live under a communistic government, Citizen Blogger, or have the use of all appendages, but really. If you spend much of your time in the work force you A) either love to work, are experiencing symptoms of workaholism, etc; B) love to do those things which benefit your family, yourself, etc; or C) love a bit of both. That was just a rudimentary example - theory, really - reality is not so simplistic. I have been pondering this truth (of actions demonstrating our true feelings more than words) more specifically with spiritualism in view. Do I spend my time doing things that bring satisfaction and happiness to myself alone (while justifying their true, selfish nature as a, uhhhhhh, ermmmm, respite between the few minutes of service throughout the day, of course) - or is my time filled with things more altruistic in nature? I don't think I need to waste my time asking myself those questions. The things that consume my time are more often than not really quite frivolous: things like finishing my homework 3 weeks ahead of time or working on a needlepoint sampler when I could be reading the New Testament (one of my goals is to become verrrry familiar with the New Testament before I go to school in Fall. So far, on Matthew 2. Pitiful!). I've also found myself watching 3 hours or more of TV a week! If you knew me, you would understand how unnatural that is - and how hopeless that makes me feel. Probably why I am experiencing some of these thoughts, actually. I will not watch any TV tomorrow! Even if it is a holiday.... Also, selflessness on my part is rather more rare than it should be. Volunteer work is done with a homework assignment in mind, a guilty should-be feeling, the hopes of a more community-oriented person than myself to leap off of the page in my college applications, and, even, (yes I know, horrible!) to meet the requirements for various awards. Well, I will not end this blog session feeling utterly, disgustingly ineffectual, so I will end with a public resolve (and hopefully, therefore, a strengthened, substantiated one) to fill my time with the things that I really love doing... things that I used to do much more of. Things that benefit those around me (and hence, benefit myself even more than selfish actions). I just sighed with renewed determination. Yes. This is completely possible; my actions are in my hands. I can change what I think I love doing. And tomorrow, when I awaken, I will prove that with my actions, not just these written words.