On Polish Poker and the Day After

My sister's 26th birthday--for me, a day eaten by concerns and Polish poker and wishes. I, however, happened to eat peach pie. I had a full house at the B&B and spent the time waiting, wishing I could wrestle someone--anyone--in an old hay field. To feel the prickles of hollow stalks, the sweet dirty smell, to have my silhouette crunched by a strong opponent or to pin them should I be the strong one, hair full of green and brown sweetstalks. That's what I wanted. Then I played a few loud games of Polish poker and wished to be just where I was--next to a wide window with a mountain view, a glass of water to my left and more friends on either side. Now there is a thunderstorm and I am inside, the worst place to be in these sorts of conditions. Tomorrow I am returning to the bustlebustle and I am excited, but more nervous than anything. I am feeling now more than ever that my life is beginning. My own life. and I don't know if I am ready.