Distressed Damsel

I remember

that night

when you told me

I suffered from

damsel-in-distress syndrome:
an onslaught of the brain by

demented feminist bacteria.

And I said if the bacteria is feminist

then wouldn't I have

damsel-in-regress syndrome?

You said shucks

you're probably right.

I mean feminine then.

And I said okay.

I left it at that

but you continued

You're brain is being assaulted

by feminine foibles

You need some of my manly

antibodies to stiffen your upper lip.

And I said you mean mustachio my upper lip?

You laughed and said I was verbifying

And I said okay.

I left it at that

but you continued

I'll give you some if you want

I said what?

You said I'll give you some manliness

I can toughen your estrogenity up if you want.

I didn't want.

But you pressed me

Until I bruised and then

I said okay.

I left it at that

but you continued

I need you to be strong

for us

And I told myself to be quiet.

Then I told I a joke to distract us for a while

A masochist asked a sadist to punch him

and the sadist leered with his bloodshot eyes

and whispered in gleeful raspiness: No.

When the joke was over there was more stinging hurting.

I told I to stop the pooling of black and blue life

beneath the skinny surface of my skin

those things Dad calls contusions

I was doing them to me

and I demanded I stop

and I said okay.

I left it at that

but I continued:

I love I

and I said:

I love I too.

Then we said we're the perfect match

We always know what to say

we always know what we mean

we always know we and the

feminist manly femininity of

us all is

understood.

And when I soothed newly bruised I

it felt like I was giving a lamb haunch an herb rub

I wanted thyme and olive oil most of all

but I didn't have any to give I.

So I talked to I,

I asked

well do I feel tougher now

and I answered

not really

I just feel like an easter dinner

then I laughed and I laughed too

and we decided

I was tough enough

brusque enough

closed enough

clothed enough

and I wasn't a distressed dam-

soul.