A Punning Bird in East St. Louis

"Cheap, Cheap! Fun, Fun!" The flapping bird's mantra is as close to a pun as I'd expect from that side of town. He's the mascot of "Dirt Cheap Liquors," though why anyone in the food or drink business would associate dirt with their product is still beyond me. His faux-feathered flaps are in time with his chants. Cheap-flap. Cheap-flap. Fun-flap. Fun-flap. And the store propeitor steps out, his face jaundiced and livermarked. His lips are grotesquely puffy, weghing down his weak jaw with their perpetual openness. When he speaks, the words seep out. They're a soggy flavor, and smell chartreuse. Each word moistens his lips, ambivalent in purpose ("Should I leave this sullied mouth, where I'm nice and comfortable? Or should I go out into that clean world and free myself of putridity? It's a dilemma common to humanity, as a matter of fact). And some words choose to leave as he stands there, next to the bird costume. "Dirt..Cheap...Liquors...... Has... allll... your... needs at cheap.... fun..... prices." The bird accentuates the man's painful speech with invigorated wings and a parting, "Cheap! Fun!"