And Now For Something Hardly Different:

I like the chocolate and gift card ideas, though I can't help but wonder if Outback Steakhouse would be the best choice. Has she raved about it or something? Is she even married? Why else would a fifty year old woman want to spend her leisure in the midst of the Jungle? I suppose if she's from Australia, "Outback" might inspire a bit of nostalgic niceness, but is that really a tactful gift? Whatever. I guess I will see you later then.

"Ugh. Boys. They're so stupid." I hear that over and over and over, and I agree and I disagree.

I am Grinley Buchard, smiler extraordinaire, emeritus maitre d' and happy. When I worked, I wore hotel piazzas on my sleeve and stood beneath cupolas - in the very epicenter of the noticeably flat floors beneath domed ceilings. That made me grin; meriting my name, meriting my fame. I was a world-class, international hotel-page - from Albuquerque to Delhi to Grenada to Johannesburg to Madrid to Perth to Salisbury to Vienna to Yellowstone. I smiled my way into the hearts of hundreds of hotel honchos: a toothy traveler.